Adversity. The word itself might make you cringe. It sounds heavy, troubling or even icky, like a slug or snail. A vat of thick molasses intended to get you stuck. Many people will go to great lengths in order to avoid adversity. Other will try to attack it with brawn, others their brain. Which begs the question is the answer, "taking the easy way out", "working smarter not harder", or something else? If adversity is like standing at a big chasm, what is the bridge to crossing it?
“There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance next time.”
Adversity creates an opportunity. A chance for growth and change. So how does one navigate adversity when you believe there is no way out. This is were it is important to remind ourselves and practice virtues (Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, Temperance) that create a foundation from which to work from.
Prudence involves both intellectual and moral aspects. It isn’t just enough to know the good, it also includes following through and doing the good. We each make countless decisions throughout our day. When we face obstacles, it’s critical to know how best to approach the given situation or even when it is wise to stop. Is this a battle worth fighting or perhaps try a different approach or tact. At these times we can do a few helpful things. One, seek the counsel of others. Two, we can look at the facts of the situation versus giving into our feelings. Note, seeking counsel doesn’t mean that we solely turn to someone who is like minded. While it is nice to feel validated, perhaps a different perspective will help broaden our gaze.
Who recalls the famous Far Side cartoon (above) in which the young man is trying to open the door. How often do you feel like this during your day? Perhaps what has you so exhausted is the fact that you've been trying the same thing again and again while expecting different results.
Justice is the virtue that enables us to assume our responsibilities and to give others their due. In the face of adversity, it can be difficult to answer the call of being just to others when others are not being just to us, whether in reality or our own perception. In the social climate we find ourselves in today, this can be particularly challenging. What we each believe to be truth is an integral factor. We are not all going to agree on everything. How we choose to approach one another in the pursuit of justice is paramount. Dr. King spoke powerful words about the pursuit of justice in his speech at SMU in March of 1966.
“This is what the non-violent method says at its best. It has brought us a long, long way and it will help those of us who have been on the oppressed end of the old order to go into the new order with the right attitude. Not with bitterness, not with the desire to retaliate, not with the desire to get even with those inflicted injustice upon us all of these years, but with a desire to forgive and forget and move on to a moral balance. We will not seek to substitute one tyranny for another, thereby subverting justice. We will not seek to rise from a position of disadvantage to one of advantage.”
I have had countless conversations with individuals who share with me about being wronged, disrespected, and hurt by family, friends, employers and others. Our conversations often include talking about their angry or even explosive responses at times to the wrong of others. And subsequently, how frustrated they get that their anger then becomes the focal point when the wrong done by the other person(s) is overlooked or gets set aside. This is where Dr. King’s words ring all the more important. Not fighting tyranny with tyranny. We can often get stuck in the pursuit of justice when neither party involved is willing and/or able to set aside their view to fully hear the other without responding with their own retort. The result being a old West shootout until the conversation deteriorates. Spoiler Alert: this is not the desired result.
Fortitude. When the going gets tough…the tough get going. Perhaps we could have devoted a whole article to this sole virtue in discussing overcoming adversity. Fortitude, stick-with-it-ness, follow thru, can be a tricky thing to navigate at times when we also discussed above, in using prudence, about how it is appropriate at times to adjust or refine our approach. This is certainly where discernment comes in, including seeking counsel of others and in particular one far greater than ourselves, God. Fortitude is a call to courage. Fortitude is the virtue that allows us to overcome fear and to remain steady in our will in the face of all obstacles, physical and spiritual. Prudence and justice are the virtues through which we decide what needs to be done; fortitude gives us the strength to do it. One way to grow in fortitude is in moments of struggle push a little further. Don’t feel like doing those dishes right this moment? Do them anyway. In the middle of a workout, run, exercise and you feel exhausted and want to stop? Lift one more rep, run one more block further, do one more pushup. When you are telling yourself “I can’t”, answer with, “Yes, I can”.
“Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”
Temperance is the virtue that helps us control our physical desire for pleasure, which we share with the animals. The moderation of our own desires is essential to acting rightly (the virtue of prudence), giving each man his due (the virtue of justice), and standing strong in the face of adversity (the virtue of fortitude). Temperance is that virtue which attempts to overcome the overriding condition of our fallen human nature.
““The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak”.”
In all cases, the practice of temperance requires the balancing of legitimate goods against an inordinate desire for them. The practice of abstinence, the act of restraining oneself from indulging in something, is a way of cultivating temperance. Giving into our every desire and impulse may be viewed as or called freedom. Rather it is saying that we are a slave to these things (emotions, food, alcohol, drugs, pornography, masturbation, work, video gaming, television, gambling). We are each called to take accountability of our actions.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.”
One more key ingredient to add, briefly touched on above, to the practice of these four virtues is, others. Having others by your side is imperative. We were not meant to go through life alone. Growing in virtue alongside a close friend or loved one can make all the difference in facing our challenges.
“Ask for help not because you’re weak, but because you want to remain strong.”
